Mum's the world.

Today is Mother's Day. I'm very happy for those who celebrated it. I'm jealous of them too. Unlike them, I didn't, couldn't celebrate it. It's a complicated family life I lead; both parents are overseas. I guess it's something I've grown use to. I've recognized the convenience and freedom it accords to me...but man, sometimes, I really miss them. On holidays like this, it hits hard. Felt like my heart was being squeezed.

I ventured out alone to a Starbucks in the CBD area. Not many people are free to go out, because they're with their family. So I was by myself. I wanted to sit down, send out emails, clear some work, read my book, and do some writing. All around me were mothers being taken out by their husbands and their children. I felt empty, and all of a sudden, I missed my mum. In the middle of Starbucks, I started tearing up.

I really really really miss her. She loves me unconditionally, but I don't always appreciate it. She cares for me, and she tries her best to give me the best life that I can have. I'm ungrateful, like scum, sometimes. She's sacrificed plenty...ahh fuck it. Fuck, I don't want to disappoint her. I want her to be proud of me, I want her to look at me, and feel that all the sacrifices she's made in the past is worth it. I want to give her an easy life, and I want to support her as she gets older, as she's supporting me now.

I love you mum. I'll do you proud.