We're only good at falling.

Sometimes, the time I spent getting ready to study is far longer than the actual time I spend studying. When I go to school to study, I can't just study at any place. It has to be near the toilet, near the vending machines, not too hot, not too noisy and has to have a socket nearby. I'd spend about 20 minutes just looking for the perfect place to sit.

And once I sit down, there's a whole new paces I have to go through. I need to walk over to the nearest vending machine to get coffee. I then take out my laptop and plug it into the socket. Once that's done, I take out a novel, a textbook, a notebook, my planner, some pieces of paper, my pen and then I scatter them on the desk. No, I'm probably not going to make use of any of them, but I want to give the impression that I'm really busy, so I do that.

I then go on my computer. I have to check my email, my facebook, and my twitter, in that order. There will always be outstanding emails, so I'll clear those. Then I make a big deal out of having set-up my work station, so I reward myself by playing some games of Tetris while watching TED, thinking that it's productive, when it really does nothing in terms of...getting any actual school work done.

That takes about...20 minutes.

And then I finally start studying. It's never ever really focused. I'll check Facebook and Twitter. I'll even go on WhatsApp.

The thing is, I eventually do get everything done in the end. When it comes to crunch time, I will always pull through, no matter what. The issue here is that...I'm not really being efficient. It bothers me loads. Why can't I just push everything aside? It feels like there's always something holding me back. I don't like it. I want to shrug it off, like a heavy cloak. Let it hit the ground, and then leave it behind forever.

I'm only good at falling.